⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ | Rated PG-13 – Comedy/Action – 2 hrs 3 mins

We might have a new Christmas movie tradition! “Red One” from Amazon MGM Studios is raucous, original and non-stop fun. While films about Santa being kidnapped are not new, building out a secret mythological defense agency within the government is fresh. Led by Lucy Liu’s Zoe Harlow, the Mythological Oversight and Restoration Authority (M.O.R.A.), is alerted to a security breach at the north pole by the lead commander of Santa’s Enforcement, Logistics and Fortification (ELF) security team, Callum Drift, played by Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.

Before we get into the kidnapping plot, the film begins by giving us a glimpse into the disillusioned childhood of Jack O’Malley (Chris Evans). We learn that Jack is fatherless and therefore tends to see the worst in people, exacerbating his own situation by spreading disruptive news to his cousins regarding the true source of their Christmas presents. We quickly jump into modern-day and see that Jack has grown into a shifty conman that will sell out anyone and anything to get ahead. Yet, we see he’s also creating more problems for himself by gambling and owing bad people lots of money. We watch as Jack steals a coffee, sets a fire, creates a diversion, installs a tracking device on seismic monitoring equipment, and then literally steals candy from a baby. Jack is not a nice boy.

When we first meet Santa Claus (J.K. Simmons), he’s playing a Mall Santa and greeting children, guarded by Callum. It would seem that Santa likes to hit the mall a couple days before Christmas to get a pulse on the season. This Santa, by the way, isn’t your typical jolly big guy… this Santa is ripped! When they leave the mall, they travel back to the North Pole via secret military operation and head straight for the gym where Santa carb-loads on cookies and dead-lifts hundreds of pounds. It’s quite the hilarious way to toss our collective image of Santa on its head. When Santa’s sleigh takes off flanked by military jets, he uses a kind of ‘hyper speed’ to jump to the North Pole. This jump is registered across seismic equipment, the very equipment Jack infiltrated.

It turns out that Jack, who claims to be able to find anyone anywhere, is unknowingly involved in the plot to kidnap Santa by revealing the secret location of the North Pole using the data he’s been collecting. He passes the coordinates of the seismic activity along to a character we only hear in a cloaked voice over a telephone. This mystery person sends Jack a wire transfer and Jack assumes this ‘job’ is complete.

With these coordinates in hand, we meet our prime suspect: an unassuming young woman (played by the amazing Kiernan Shipka) hellbent on capturing Santa so she can punish all the kids on the Naughty List, something Santa has been adamantly against. She sends her minions to swoop into the location, breaking into its secured cloaking dome, and running a multifaceted military-esque operation.

Callum goes on the chase and ends up out maneuvered. He calls into M.O.R.A. to let them know what’s happened and begin their rescue and recovery operation. That leads both M.O.R.A. and Callum to Jake who is eventually informed about the very real Santa and his very real disappearance. Callum and Jake become unlikely cohorts as they work together to figure out where Santa is and return him to his post, since we’re just a few days away from Christmas. The stakes are very high!

So as not to spoil any of the surprises, the rescue mission that Callum and Jack embark on is full of mythological surprises including Krampus. The costuming and makeup departments deserve awards for this film – some of the most creative costumes appear when we visit the world of Krampus along with the film’s unlikely hero duo. The visual effects are also pretty great, but you’d expect that with a movie as action-packed as this. It does not disappoint.

For our critics advanced screening, the film was presented in 4DX, a format that involves theme-park style moving seats, wind, rain, fog, and scent effects. The film quite literally smelled like Christmas… and that’s a massive win right there. In my opinion, this film may be a new Christmas classic to share with the family… better if your family consists of teens. There’s some light foul language, but nothing they haven’t heard at school. I’d place this film somewhere just after “Elf” and “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” as a modern holiday classic.